Sexual Preference
by Hermionesclass101
Summary: Remus is confused. He knows who he loves, but that person happens to be a male. He never considered himself gay. So he sets out on a mission to confirm his sexual preference.


Remus didn't _think_ he was gay.

As a matter of fact, he was sure he wasn't.

But when he looked into the eyes of molten silver of the man who was currently kissing him, he lost all trains of thought. He never questioned why he was kissing a boy instead of a girl like he was expected to. He just enjoyed it.

And then, when it was over, he found himself looking at the chiselled features of the other man in curiosity. Everything felt the way he'd always dreamed it would, except for one little difference: his beautiful princess was a prince. He smiled at this thought, and traced his lover's jaw tenderly with his finger. Everything remained still, as he examined the way he slept, all spread out, as though he was determined to dominate the entire bed. Remus rolled his eyes and leaned back, resting his head on the bare chest of his companion, and breathing in his scent.

He wasn't afraid of what other people would think the way his was. He couldn't see what was wrong with it; with enjoying himself and being in love.

As he walked around Hogwarts that day, to satisfy his curiosity, he started looking at other boys his age. As he passed Cameron McCaughey, he imagined himself embraced in his strong, Quidditch-playing arms. He shuddered. No, that wasn't right. Nor was it right when he imagined embracing George McNally, or Justin Lynch.

Already almost terrified, he instead turned towards his friend.

"James," he said lightly. "Look at me for a minute?"

His black-haired friend turned towards him curiously. Remus gazed into his deep hazel eyes and tried to get lost in them the way he got lost in his lover's. Nothing happened. He didn't achieve anything, except for putting a disconcerted look on his mate's face.

"What are you doing, Moony?" James asked curiously, raising one eyebrow and gazing at his friend through his spectacles.

"Hmm?" Remus murmured, distracted as he furrowed his brow in curiosity. "Oh – sorry, James. Nothing."

"'Kay then…" his friend trailed off, looking at him oddly. "I'm going to go practice Quidditch."

His friend stood, still gazing at him with a puzzled look on his face, before taking off in the other direction. Remus was left under the beech tree alone. Chewing on the inside of his lip curiously, he gazed across the river at the usual group of girls sitting there, some of them dissipating as James left. He gazed at one of them out of the corner of his eye, and tried to imagine his lips on hers; his hands in her soft blonde hair. But there was nothing; not so much as the beginning of something. Instead, she turned into a familiar, more masculine figure, and he smiled. He shook his head and looked around, noticing the tell-tale red shimmer of Lily's hair. Getting a sudden idea, he sprang up, running towards her.

"Lily!" he shouted, making her turn.

"Hello, Remus," she smiled, waving slightly with the hand that wasn't holding a pile of books. "You look troubled. What's the matter?"

"Lily, can I ask you a huge favour?" he begged, grabbing her wrist and pulling her around the corner. She looked at him enquiringly, tilting her head to one side, her hair falling in front of her face. Part of him wondered whether or not he should find that attractive.

"Sure."

"I just want to try something…" he stammered. "I want you to…I want to…Can I kiss you?"

"What?" she asked, surprised. She appeared taken aback.

"Please?" he begged. "Just one kiss. I just want to see something."

"I think I'm entitled to know what it is you want to figure out, don't you?" she demanded, putting her free hand on her hip. Remus ran a hand through his sandy hair, frustrated.

"I don't even know," he sighed. "I'm not sure how to explain it. I just…need to know something."

The red-head was unmoved.

"I'm dating…someone," Remus admitted. "And I just want to…see if he's…"

"Wait." She interrupted him slowly. "'He'?"

"Yeah…" he trailed off. "That's just it. I think I love him…but I never considered myself…that way."

"Oh…" her face seemed to soften. He was taking it way better than he had thought she would. "Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Sure, Remus," she agreed. "Just hurry. I have somewhere to be."

He licked his lips nervously, moving towards her. The flush already on his scarred face deepened, warming his cheeks, as he brushed as strand of her hair out of the way. She closed her eyes as he placed his lips on hers.

"Remus?" a male voice floated from behind him, sounding incredulous. Remus jumped, pulling away from Lily, and spun around, coming face to face with _him. _Lily looked surprised as she looked from his furious face to Remus's guilty one, before the former took off, pushing people out of the way. Remus followed quickly, murmuring a fast 'thank you' to Lily, as he darted after him, calling his name.

"_Wait, _you prat!" Remus called, suddenly colliding with his muscular back as he came to an abrupt halt.

"Wait for what, Remus?" he asked coldly. "Wait for you to lie to me again? I don't think so."

"Seriously, it's not like that!"

"Oh really? What I thought I saw was my –" he cut himself off, dragging Remus by the wrist into a classroom. "My boyfriend _kissing _Lily Evans. Not only is that hurting me, but what about _James?" _

"Do you consider yourself gay?" the question was unexpected, throwing the other man off guard. He hesitated for a moment, looking puzzled. "Exactly. That's what I was doing."

"That's it?" Remus could see rare vulnerability hidden in the cloudy orbs. He pushed the other man into the wall and firmly placed his own lips on his.

"I love _you, _Sirius. And that's what I discovered today."

Remus still didn't consider himself gay. Nor did he consider himself straight. He only had one sexual preference, and that was Sirius.

* * *

**Just a little ramble that came from boredom. Review please! I'm debating whether or not this story is even worth posting...**

**Katie**


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